Book Review — Paper Girls vol. 1

Title: Paper Girls vol. 1
Author: Brian K. Vaughan and Cliff Chiang
Genre: Graphic novel
ISBN: 9781632156747

 

Rating

"In the early hours after Halloween of 1988, four 12-year-old newspaper delivery girls uncover the most important story of all time.

"Suburban drama and supernatural mysteries collide in this smash-hit series about nostalgia, first jobs, and the last days of childhood."

~ Jacket copy

On a seemingly normal morning after Halloween, collides with three other paper delivery girls as weird stuff starts to happen. Jumped by a couple of people who steal a walkie-talkie, the girls are chased into an abandoned house where they make a discovery. This discovery will lead them on an acid trip of an adventure.

Book Review — The Game

 

Title: The Game
Author: Matt Shaw
Genre: Extreme horror
Pages: Oversize paperback, 134
ISBN: 978154826729
Opening Lines: "The hammer connected with Colin MacGregor's head with a satisfying crunch that splintered his skull into fragments beneath the skin."

Rating

"A not so secret show aired via a private satelite on the dark web, where contestants are forced to fight one another and navigate their way through a maze of unspeakable horrors.

"In this episode it's Victoria's turn. A woman plucked from her normal life and dropped directly into hell, unaware she is being watched all across the world.

"The producers don't know if she will survive and they don't care. All they care about are the viewing figures. More gore, more ratings.

"The game was start . . ."

~ Jacket copy

Waking up in a room with a stranger and a mysterious note on the only door out is not exactly how Victoria planned to spend her day. After people break into her house, kill the family dog, and kidnap her Victoria isn't sure what to expect. The fight through a rudimentary, half-assed version of Jigsaw's puzzles did not top her list. Yet, here she is . . . But will she survive the harrowing experience?

Book Review — Ready Player One

Title:  Ready Player One
Author:  Ernest Cline
Genre: Lit. RPG/Sci-Fi/Dystopia
Pages:  Paperback, 579
Publisher:  B/D/W/Y
ISBN:  978-1-5247-6328-2
Opening Lines:  "Everyone my age remembers where they were and what they were doing when they first heard about the contest."

Rating

"In the year 2044, reality is an ugly placce. The only time teenage Wade Watts really feels alive is when he's jacked into the virtual utopia known as the OASIS. Wade's devoted his life to studying puzzles hidden within this world's digital confines—puzzles that are based on their creator's obsession with the pop culture of decades past and that promise massive power and fortune to whoever can unlock them.

"But when Wade stumbles upon the first clue, he finds himself beset by players willing to kill to take this ultimate prize. The race is on, and if Wade's going to survive, he'll have to win—and confront the real world he's always been so desperate to escape."

~ Jacket copy

When we were still dating, my husband told me about this "great book" that pulled on our childhood and mutual love of all things geeky.  His roommate just so happened to be reading it and raved about its epicness.  Needless to say, we raced to pick up a copy before the movie came out.  Yes, I am that person who tries to read the book before watching the movie.

In the year 2044, everyone lives their meager life plugged into the OASIS.  Business is conducted in online store fronts, children attended simulated schools, you work virtual jobs, etc.  Provided you have enough money, you never have to leave your trusted haptic rig.  However, all of that might change when the creator of the OASIS levels a challenge on his death—find the hidden Easter Egg to inherent his entire estate and controlling shares in Gregarious Simulation Systems.  Basically, to the winner goes the OASIS.  After years of searching, no one has been able to solve the puzzles.  When an unlikely teenager from the stacks in Ohio manages to master the first puzzle, he pits himself against a huge mega-corporation to find the Egg.  With only his knowledge of '70s, '80s, and '90s trivia to guide him, Wade must master all three gates in order to save the OASIS from corporate control.

As a preface to this review, I was born in the early '80s and grew up with a deep-rooted love and nostalgia for the decade.  I have fond memories of watching The Breakfast Club, Lady Hawk, Willow, Goonies, and other iconic '80s movies with my brother.  These movies colored my childhood and earliest memories.  In fact, I remember believing that I would marry Michael J. Fox and be swept away in The DeLorean.  I cut my gaming teeth on my grandfather's Commodore 64 and learned the fine art of platforming with the original Mario Bros.  My parents raised us to love Star Trek, be avid readers, and embrace the things that others thought weird.  To be blunt, I am a geek. (This is our current set-up minus the CRT and old-school consoles.)

After listening my husband's roommate praise Ready Player One, I was excited to delve into its uncharted depths.  Sadly, it broke my heart.

Where do I even start with this book?  It is nothing more than one big cluster-fuck of trivia and "Ooo, look at me, I'm the most epic geek of all time because I know so much stuff!"  Before I even address how Ernest Cline tried to single-handedly ruin my childhood, I will put on my English teacher/editor hat.

Let me begin with the story.  Aside from movies like Tron, The Matrix, Gamer, etc., this book has a very interesting premise.  Using '80s trivia and geeky-awesomeness as the vehicle for the plot made me geekgasm.  It is also interesting to note that this book seemingly gave rise to Lit. RPG as an actual genre.  Honestly, some amazing books have come out of it.  Unfortunately, that is where it ends . . . This book lacks originality at its core and borders on plagiarizing myriad '80s movies.  While it can be argued that there are no more original stories, Cline takes that to another level by hijacking everyone else's ideas, bastardizing them, and dumbing them down to spoon feed them to the masses.  This is evident in his characters.  Cline has never met a stock character that he didn't like.  Not only are his characters extremely one-dimensional and severely underdeveloped, Wade is no more than a badly written copy of Luke Skywalker.  As well as being an orphan raised by his aunt, he was the only one who could go against IOI (*couch* the Empire *cough*) to save the OASIS.  And, let me not forget, Wade—like Ernest himself—is the G.O.A.T.

At no point can he fail.  Even if he does not have the skills or necessary knowledge, Wade always has to succeed.

In addition to the stock characters, the whole story of Halliday and Morrow was a two-bit copy of the formation of modern day computers.  In fact, Halliday and Morrow mirror Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak.  It was easy to figure out how the relationship would play out if you watched Pirates of Silicon Valley or know anything about that dynamic.

Moving on, Ernest either needs to invest in a good editor or fire the one he has.  The glaring inconsistencies in this book were outrageous.  For example, on page 161, Wade approaches the replica of Halliday's childhood home and notes, "Two late-'70s Ford sedans were parked in the driveway, one of them up on cider blocks."  However, as Wade makes his great escape from the house after cleared the first gate, he grabs "The keys to the Halliday family car were on the pegboard next to the refrigerator.  I grabbed them and rushed outside. The car (the one that wasn't up on the blocks) was a 1982 Ford Thunderbird." (p. 178). Um, a 1982 Ford Thunderbird is a not a late-'70s sedan.  To add insult to injury, the continual run-on sentences, fragments, and incorrect grammatical structure for a list series nearly made my eyes cross.  I am almost too terrified to ask what the original, unedited manuscript looked like.

Ready Player One is chock-full of frivolous details.  If the book was distilled down to the story, it would probably cap out around 100-200 pages.  Instead, Cline spends the majority of the book inundating the audience with pointless movie references, incorrect geeky trivia, and pages of detailed explanations of why Wade is the G.O.A.T.  Cline relies too heavily on several bad plot devices such as the dreaded deus ex machina, hidden knowledge, and the Mary Sue.  All of these elements are characteristics of immature writers. Unfortunately, these elements work together to create a book that is nothing more than a name-dropping info dump and testament to Cline's belief in his own "geek prowess".

The lengths to which Cline goes to incorporate all geekdom from the past several decades is laughable.  In his attempt to show his godlike knowledge of all things geeky, Cline—surprisingly—got many things wrong.  First of all, a Bag of Holding is a pocket dimension that is larger on the inside than the outside.  It does not get heavier as you put more objects into it.  Therefore, I am unsure why Wade could no longer fill the bag with gold or loot as he worked through the dungeon.  Second, he cannot study the map of the dungeon to know where every single monster is located.  In many of those old D&D books, wandering monsters were common and could not be predicted.  Aside from the bosses and larger battles, it was a roll of the dice and up to the DM to decide what players would encounter.  I don't even want to address what he did to the DeLorean or the Serenity . . . It made me weep and my husband homicidal.  (Ernest Cline, if you are reading this, you do not deserve to have your picture taken in front of the DeLorean nor do you deserve to be lauded at ComicCon.  Can the shit, you're not a geek or a nerd!)

Cline's desire to create the magnum opus of geekdom did nothing more than alienate true geeks and nerds by bastardizing what they love the most.

Even though I do not condone book burning, here is our final opinion of the book:

   
         

Book Review — A Court of Mist and Fury

Title:  A Court of Mist and Fury Author:  Sarah J. Maas Genre:  New Adult, retelling Pages:  Hardback, 624 Publisher:  Bloomsbury ISBN:  978-1-61963-446-6 Opening Lines:  "Maybe I'd always been broken and dark inside.  Maybe someone who'd been born whole and good would have put down the ash dagger and embraced death rather than what lay before me."

Rating

"Feyre survived Amarantha's clutches to return to the Sprint Court—but at a steep cost. Though she now has the powers of the High Fae, her heart Book Reviewremains human, and it can't forget the terrible deeds she performed to save Tamlin's people.

"Nor has Feyre forgotten her bargain with Rhysand, HIgh Lord of the feared Night Court. As Feyre navigates its dark web of politics, passion, and dazzling power, a greater evil looms—and she might be the key to stopping it. BUt only if she can harness her harrowing gifts, heal her fractured soul, and decide how she wishes to shape her future—and the future of the world torn apart."

~ Jacket copy

 After the conclusion of A Court of Thorns and Roses, I wanted to see if my suppositions were correct.  Thankfully, my local library had a copy, which meant I was not forced to buy this trite, cliched drivel.

Sadly, this book is easily summed up: boy—in an extremely predictable manner—drives girl away, girl runs to new boy, figures stuff out, falls in love with new boy, and is the key to saving the known world.  Oh, yes, there are some over-the-top, poorly written sex scenes that nearly plagiarize every other sex scene that has come before it in romance and erotica alike.  Basically, there was nothing original.
 

Before I even attempt to review this book, please do not bother reading it if you don't want spoilers.  It is hard to address the epic failure of A Court of Mist and Fury without looking at the book as a whole.

First, I want to address the very disgusting language running throughout the book.  At many points, Feyre, as well as others, make the comment that her human heart cannot come to grips with the atrocities she was forced to commit Under the Mountain.  They claim this is why she can never heal, why she is plagued with nightmares, and, basically, why she is "damaged".  BULLSHIT!  Human heart or no, at no point could anyone deal with that torture—both physical, emotional, and mental—without breaking.  (Well, I suppose, if you're a sociopath, you might be perfectly okay.)  The fact that she mourns the deaths makes her NORMAL.  In addition, continually calling her "damaged" feels quite abusive and manipulative.  Her lack of self-esteem in this book is shocking!  At no point did any of the characters attempt to correct the issue.

Tamlin is not suffering from PTSD after his experiences Under the Mountain.    His character completely changes from one book to the next.  Based upon the fact that he could so callously murder Rhys' mother and sister in cold blood, he must be a sociopath after his performance in the first book.  Honestly, I wish Maas had taken half a page to explain the rationale behind that one.  Additionally, if she had wanted Feyre to end up with Rhys, wonderful!  However, you do not need to turn Tamlin into a raging, controlling, ABUSIVE asshole.  Sometimes people just fall out of love.  Given the circumstances, it makes sense that Tamlin might feel threatened after Feyre saved all of Prythia.  Further, after needing to feel someone protect her, finding that Tamlin was unwilling (or could not) to do so, Feyre might seek to find it elsewhere.  There are any number of reasons why their love was doomed.  Maas did not need to be over dramatic (hmm, much like teenage girl drama) in their breakup.  I absolutely despise when authors decide to turn much-loved characters into raging assholes (*cough, cough* Laurel K. Hamilton *cough, cough*) as their pseudo Deus Ex Machina.  After reading the first book, the audience had to know that it was a foregone conclusion that Feyre would end up leaving Tamlin for Rhys; however, try to be an adult about how you handle it.

The minor characters in this book could have been interesting.  Unlike the first book with Lucien, Maas didn't spend anytime fleshing them out and they all had traumatic backstories.  When every single character has a traumatic backstory, the audience ceases to care about them.  Ugh, Feyre was starving, Tamlin's family was killed (rightfully), Lucien was abused and nearly killed by his brothers, Rhys was a half-blood and despised for it, Mor was beaten and left for dead, blah, blah, blah!  It is the author's job to craft a sympathetic character and garner a connection with the audience, yet using this tragic backstory over and over and over again is a sign of an immature author.  Sometimes I am most drawn to the characters who are just real people trying to deal with real circumstances.  I don't need my heartstrings pulled with every character.

Speaking of characterizations, Rhys moved from extremely interesting in the first book to flat and one dimensional.  Thank you, Maas, for showing that you know what a Byronic Hero is, and I am extremely upset that he lacked the dimensions of greater Byronic Heroes like Mr. Darcy.  It was nice to see that Rhys had a backstory and treated Feyre better, yet one has to wonder whether he is truly better than Tamlin.  His explosive anger toward Mor's father, as well as his response after the mating hints at repressed issues.  Also, what happened to Feyre?  In the first book, she was a kick-ass-take-no-prisoners-tough-as-nails heroine!  Yes, she is dealing with harrowing stuff; however, she never fully bounces back, sulks in corners, and pulls the "woe is me" card.  I wanted to slap her!

Half way through the novel, Maas developed a keen interest in "indeed".  It made me wonder what happened to her editor.  Close to 95% of the times it was used, it should have been removed.  It changed the entire meaning of the sentences or had not relevance whatsoever.  And if that isn't bad enough, she similarly gained an odd fascination with "barked".  "He barked my name", "my muscles barked after training", "I approached the dais, my knees barking" . . . Seriously, what in the world does that mean?

Since editing was mentioned . . . Why was half of this book not chopped?  I am almost terrified to see the length of a pre-edited version *shudder*  This book is 624 pages, and it could have easily been hacked down to less than half of that.  The majority of the book revolves around cliched dramas and episodes of "does he love me, does he not", crises of character, and so on.  The real plot of the book is probably less than 300 pages.

I'm not even going to address the ludicrous, corny sex scenes.  Heh, that might take a whole review in and of itself.  Let's say that 50 Shades of Gray was better.  Not by much, mind you, but it was better.

So, what did I like about this book?  Honestly, Amren was an amazing character!  I am beyond thrilled that Maas didn't flesh her out and allowed her to be shrouded in some sort of mystery.  My imagination has run wild with theories about her, how she came to Phrythia, etc.  She was a rare gem and an excellent success.  Unfortunately, I am terrified to see how Maas will destroy her the way she did Rhys and Lucien.

To put it bluntly, this book was banal, vapid, and unimaginative.  For a 600+ page book, I expected better, especially after loving the first book.  It would have been nice to see the old Feyre start to emerge and show older teenage girls that they are strong enough to overcome horrible adversity.  Regrettably, she decided that the cliches were easier to write.  

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Book Review — Taking on the Dead

Title:  Taking on the Dead
Author:  Annie Walls
Genre:  Post-apocalyptic with zombies
Format:  E-book
ASIN: B009EB4YDU
Opening Lines:  "Some people say you can't change overnight.  I'm sure this is true."
Author Links: Website   ♠   Twitter   ♠   Facebook
Rating:

"Life for Kansas was perfect until the day the world changed.

"She has been hiding out for four years in solitude. It's the only way to survive. The only way not to draw the living dead. Helping a small group of people, she learns the new world might not be what she assumes. Venturing out of her refuge and comfort zone, she meets Rudy, who helps her find a greater purpose. She realizes that the world has moved on without her. Only it's not what she expects. Her knowledge of the living dead grows and only makes her more curious as humanity continues to hang on by a thread. While on her search for answers she finds comfort in new friendships and love, but her past seems as if it will haunt her forever.

"Kansas takes it upon herself to help other survivors, which would be easy if the famished were the only obstacles.

"In a trilogy plot thick with twists and turns, this adult dark fantasy is emotional as much as it is horrifyingly gripping."

~ Goodreads

Thoughts: Sometime on Tuesday or Wednesday of last week, I finally finished this book. Since then, I have been trying to figure out how best to approach and write this review. The first time I saw this novel was on an ad for a book tour. Being a zombie apocalypse book, I was very quick to jump at the opportunity to read it. Unfortunately, despite my love, I really did not enjoy the book. The reason is because this book completely failed. And it failed spectacularly!

At first, I had high hopes for this book. Reading through the prologue, I was fairly impressed. It was very powerful, gave a wonderful opening for the story, and did a good job of showing how the zombie apocalypse can seemingly come out of nowhere to disrupt a perfect life. At this point, I started to notice a few extraneous commas, improper placement of punctuation, etc. However, since it could be easily explained as a typo, I didn’t think too much of it. That is not to say that it didn’t put me on alert. As the book progressed, I started to have issues with the voice. It can be very hard to write in first person present active; however, the author manages to pull it off. That being said, something about Kan’s voice was very troubling. Unfortunately, I still cannot quite put my finger on it. And, while the narration was bothering me, I started to notice that the grammar issues continued to get worse. It evolved from a few mishaps into the author’s haphazard attempt at throwing in punctuation because it seemed appropriate. She started doing clause fragments. (Keep in mind, this is not a technical term; it is one I coined to describe her errors.) Further into the book, I started to wonder whether she understood what adjectives, series, and multiple adjectives to describe a noun really were. It is hard to describe fully what she did; however, if I had not known what she was doing, this book would have been hard to understand. Unfortunately, comma misusage can seriously change the meaning of a sentence.

Aside from the author’s haphazard and willy-nilly approach to grammar, she had grievous issues with consistency. On one page, she would oscillate between “t-shirt” and “T-shirt.” Unless the author was trying to write within a certain style, I do not care how she chose to spell T-shirt. My issue stems from lack of consistency. Decide how you want to spell the word and keep to it. Even if the word was misspelled, if she consistently used the same spelling, I would not be as annoyed.

While the author’s grammatical errors were egregious, this book also suffered from an obvious lack of content editing. I felt there were a lot of things that Kan did in the later part of the book that were completely out of character with the original girl the audience met. In most books, this can be explained by character development; however, there was no true character development. Further, at one point, Rudy makes it clear that he worked as a contractor before the zombie outbreak. If the reader continues reading, Kan makes a comment that helping at the greenhouse made sense due to his carpentry background. Where did Rudy ever say he had a carpentry background? Working construction does not guarantee you have that as a background. In addition, I cannot fully grasp Kan’s need to carry around a computer. Granted, her computer used to connect via satellite; however, it might not be able to connect at other locations outside of her home base. Further, if some person manages to get the Internet up and running, why would she suddenly have access to wireless? This makes no sense to me. Even my husband, who has worked as a systems administrator for over a decade, could not understand the rationale behind this.

If the author had mentioned “arrow holster” one more time, I would have broken my husband’s Kindle. Anything that is used to hold arrows is considered a quiver. The fact that her quiver is larger than others and made out of a gift container for a bottle of wine does not automatically make it something other than a quiver. This really got on my nerves. Another thing was her explanation of bows. Yes, long bows are fairly old; however, a recurve bow predates them by more than a millennium. In addition, a recurve bow was desired for its power and the energy it put into the arrow. Long bows were more desired for range and the fact that they worked well en mass.

Along with the bows, the author really needed to do her homework when it came to guns. Yes, a grip is one of the most important things in determining the correct gun. However, her comment about making sure the person could use the slide very fast isn’t accurate. You need to be able to move the slide smoothly and have a good grip. Further, the weight of the gun also needs to be considered when finding the right weapon. And Kan’s adventure with the sawed off shotgun was fully inside the realm of fiction. Yes, because of the shortened barrel length, a sawed off shotgun will have a nasty recoil—and will more than likely bruise your shoulder. However, it will not knock you off your feet and send you several feet in the air. Well, I guess it will if you’re on the receiving end of the spray.

When talking to Reece about her book collection, Kan pooh-poohs The Jolly Roger’s Cookbook by stating that it wouldn’t be able to teach them how to make things like pipe bombs because it is too old. This could have changed in the last decade; however, when I was still a teenager, the book was not static; people kept adding to it. And, at the time, it had recipes for making pipe bombs. Further, Kan tells Reece that they can get better books by looting bookstores. So, by the author’s logic, I can walk into a Barnes & Noble and purchase a book on advanced bomb making (and, of course, making a simple pipe bomb is extremely advanced bomb making).

It stuck out to me that Reece—in a time period where infection is easy, antibiotics are not easy to come by, and an open wound could possibly mean zombie infection—doesn’t take the time to cover his new tattoo. Yes, the ointment is important; however, a fresh tattoo is still an open wound and susceptible to infection. This really upset me because I have multiple tattoos. It seems to me that a tattoo artist would be extremely vigilant about that, especially during a zombie apocalypse.

Honestly, Kan is zombie bait. The only reason she has survived is because she was alone and then surrounded by men that would take care of her. She can only handle a pistol crossbow and her few blades. She talks about not being overly accurate with a full-sized crossbow, she is not able to handle a regular bow (a compound bow), and cannot find the safety on a gun. I honestly wondered why she was put in charge of a group. Further, aside from the few she dealt with on her way to the survivor camp, she had no experience with the famished. Someone like Reece would have made far more sense. I cannot stand a heroine who has to rely on male characters to keep her alive. If the characters acted as partners and relied on each other, I could easily accept that. However, I am sick and tired of seeing these supposedly strong female leads that cannot take care of themselves. Half of the things Kan does to get herself in trouble are simply because she lacks common sense or forethought. Her use of the Molotov in Wal-Mart is a perfect example of this. It would not have taken her two seconds to figure out it was an extremely stupid idea.

I do not understand why Kan was so hell bent on bringing Julie with her. It made no sense. Further, how would a woman who is eight months pregnant be able to fit on the back of a Ducati? If she was able to (which I sincerely doubt), how would Kan keep her from getting off the bike? It would have made more sense to leave Julie, reunite with the gang, tell them the information she learned from the doctor, and then plan another strategy to gain entrance into the base. In addition, since the doctor knew about the impending attack (because Kan was too stupid not to tell Julie next to the playground), I don’t understand why extra security measures were not taken. Further, I am not sure how a few pipe bombs were able to breach the walls. I have to wonder whether the author really knows what pipe bombs are for. Using them against zombies is a pretty good idea. They are shrapnel bombs meant to inflict as much damage to a person as possible.

The author’s constant obsession with the “happy trail” was enough to make me gag. I understand being in isolation for four years will cause a girl’s libido to spike when they’re around a sexy man; however, it was over the top.

There is a lot more I could address in this review, but it has gotten to be quite long. Needless to say, when I finished this book, I was very disappointed. To me, it is the perfect example of why I dislike self published pieces. Granted, there are some wonderful things out there! Unfortunately, a lot of people are in a rush to get their novels published because they think it is good and they completely forego editing. I’m sorry, but there is a reason for the process. I will give the author a little credit, she has the bare bones of something that could potentially be a good story. However, she needs to go through several revisions and rewrites. Honestly, by just having some friends and/or family read it to see if it made sense, a lot of her issues would not have appeared in the final book. Further, if she decided to completely turn her nose up at the editing process, I wish she would have spent a little time researching things and rereading her story before it was made available to the public. As it stands, this book is a long way from a polished work of fiction. That being stated, I will end up reading the other books in the series. However, I hope for her benefit—as well as that of her audience—she will seriously look into getting her next books edited.

Current Pages: 13,343
Current Progress:

43/50 books