Dear John, I Love Jane: Women Write about Leaving Men for Women

Title: Dear John, I Love Jane: Women Write about Leaving Men for Women
Editor: Candace Welsh and Laura André
Genre: Autobiographical Anthology
Format: Kindle
Published: 2010
Opening Line: 'This gripping collection of first-person narratives will undoubtedly expand and deepen your understanding of women’s sexuality, whether you are gay, straight, or somewhere in between.' (Location 39)

Arousing, inspiring, and bold, this Seal Press anthology reveals a new awareness of female sexuality.

Kicking things off, Dr. Lisa Diamond's foreword states, "These women have bravely explored every edge of the supposed boundary dividing the queer from the straight, before from after, truth from falsehood, self from façade, and girl from woman....In the end, each of these women makes her own peace with identity, desire, kinship, community, partnership, and self, sometimes with a lover by her side, sometimes alone."

27 essays follow, by smart, hilarious, and heroically honest writers, who, like Cynthia Nixon, Portia de Rossi, and Wanda Sykes, left heterosexual lives behind to pursue relationships with women.

Activist and author Jennifer Baumgardner closes the book with this grace note: "...the dominant power in this book is love. You read the word over and over on these pages. These stories are not just about finding that perfect person to love, but finding yourself and loving her. It’s being connected to something between women; feeling that you are on the side of all of the women who ever wanted something more and who wanted to be bigger or different than the narrow silhouette of traditional womanhood. It’s chafing against the idea that women could only love or be loved in a certain way and proving that assumption dead wrong."

Dear John, I Love Jane is a timely, candid exploration of female sexuality and personal choice.
(From http://www.dearjohnilovejane.com)

Quotes:
'Living as a whole person, and learning to accept my own messy contradictions, is not only politically powerful, but much more sexually satisfying.' (Location 746)

'It is our desire to help people see us as their neighbors, their friends, and to see that our sexuality and identity are nothing to fear. We are spiritual, we are mothers and fathers, workers, shoppers, devoted family members, much more similar to heterosexuals than different. We’re not here to destroy families, seduce straight people, or scare anyone. We are here to live our lives and love the people we love. One of the unfortunate aspects of being gay in our culture is that while I had so many rights as a married straight woman, I do not have the same rights as a married gay woman. I still pay taxes and support my country in many ways. It is unfortunate that my rights are not equal because of my sexuality. We are here to be Americans, to claim the truth of “All people are created equal,” and to receive equal access to the constitutional pursuit of our happiness. It will be a beautiful day when that happiness—alongside our rights—will be recognized for all Americans.' (Location 3074)

'So there I was, in an “official” lesbian relationship. No man around. We could go to Gay Pride and everything. I expected it to feel different than my straight relationship—and it did—but not for the reasons I was expecting. It felt different to be in a relationship where my partner actually loved all of my shortcomings instead of mocking them, where I was encouraged to be who I was instead of being molded into a person that made my partner look better, where the sex was mind-blowingly fantastic. It felt different to be in a relationship with someone who actually wanted children and was willing to work hard at parenting. The relationship felt different, but it wasn’t because my partner was a woman. It was because my partner was Kia. It wasn’t her sex or gender that made things different. It was because I had chosen the right person, the person who loved me for me, and who wanted to be with me.' (Location 3353)

'If I look back on this journey, I see a collection of moments, occasional lights along the dark path of memory.' (Location 3544)

'While I see political energy all over these stories, the dominant power in this book is love. You read the word over and over on these pages. These stories are not just about finding that perfect person to love, but finding yourself and loving her. It’s being connected to something between women; feeling that you are on the side of all of the women who ever wanted something more and who wanted to be bigger or different than the narrow silhouette of traditional womanhood. It’s chafing against the idea that women could only love or be loved in a certain way and proving that assumption dead wrong.' (Location 3915)




Thoughts: The book contains 27 essays about very different women in very different circumstances. What do they have in common? They all were in relationships with men when they fell in love with a woman. These aren't women who spent all of their lives (or even much of their lives) as lesbians, either denying their sexuality or living it. They didn't know they were interested in woman. In fact many were very much interested in men only and many even spent much of their lives in love with men. Each woman tells her story.

Every story is very different. Some women leave their husband or boyfriend, some stay. Some leave on good terms, some on bad terms. Some are supported by their family, some rejected by them. Some stay with the woman that made a difference in their life, others with a later woman, or stay single. There is as much variation in the stories as their are in the woman. For some, the story starts in their 20s or earlier, some are late in life. But for all, their life is changed and will never be the same.

All of the stories touched me. Many made me cry. These women are raw and honest. I felt their pain and I felt their joy. I felt their vulnerability and their strength. These are stories about being real, being true to yourself, being honest with yourself.

Some people reading this book won't be able to read it with an open mind. It might offend some people. But if you read it for what it is, people being honest about their life, about what they did right and about their mistakes, about what the lost and what they gained, you will enjoy and be touched by this book.

Reviewed by:
~Raven

No comments:

Post a Comment

I comment in the thread. Please subscribe to receive my comments and the things other awesome people have to say ^_^

Search

Categories

1 skull (3) 100 followers giveaway (2) 14 (1) 2 skulls (15) 2011 in review (1) 2012 (1) 3 skulls (21) 3 stars (1) 4 skulls (24) 4 stars (1) 5 skulls (43) 5 stars (1) 50 books in 2011 (1) 5skulls (1) a court of thorns and roses (1) a local habitation (1) a perfect blood (1) a rush of wings (1) abuse (1) adam neville (1) adrian phoenix (2) adults only (3) after the ending (1) alien invasion (1) alien invation (1) aliens (3) aliens: earth hive (1) ally condie (1) amanda ashby (1) amy lukavics (1) anastasia (1) andrea cremer (1) annie walls (1) antebellum (1) anthology (1) apocalypse (2) apocalypse watch 2012 (9) arc (2) ashfall (1) audio book (8) author interview (3) autobiography (1) award (3) bag of bones (1) batman (1) bdsm (5) beast fable (1) beautiful creatures (1) beautiful darkness (1) beauty and the beast (1) becca fitzpatrick (1) best of 2011 (1) bethany griffin (1) bisexuality (1) bite club (1) black magic sanction (1) blog award (1) blog layouts (1) blogoversary (2) blood rights (1) blood rights vampires kristen painter (1) blood rites (1) bloodfever (1) bob marley (1) Book Beginnings (2) book blogger hop (5) book challenge (7) book club (1) book review (144) book review suzanne collins (5) book review urban fantasy (2) book reviw (1) book tour (6) brenna yovanoff (1) brian keene (1) bullet for my valentine (1) business (1) c.e. murphy (1) caitlin r. kiernan (1) cameron dokey (1) Candace Welsh (1) carrie ryan (3) carrie vaughn (2) catching fire (1) catholic (1) censorship (1) charlaine harris (2) charlene teglia (1) charlie higson (1) cherie feather (1) cherokee nattion (1) Chic and Sassy Designs (1) children of paranoia (1) china (1) chivalry (1) chris wooding (1) christopher moore (1) cinder (1) cinderella (2) civil war (1) claimed by the wolf (1) claire thompson (1) classics (3) comfort food (1) comfort foods (1) comic (1) coming of age (1) commenting (1) contagious (1) contemporary (3) conversation (1) courtly lover (1) Courtney Crumin and the Night Things (1) courtney summers (1) coyote (1) coyote blue (1) craig johnson (1) crow (1) cuckoo song (1) cyborg (1) D/s (1) dan wells (1) dana fredsti (1) dante (1) dare (1) dark fantasy (1) darkfever (1) dathan auerbach (1) daughter of smoke and bone (1) daughters unto devils (1) David Clement-Davies (1) david hahn (1) david oliver relin (1) david tischman (1) days of blood & starlight (1) dd barant (1) dead (1) dead beat (1) dead light (1) dead on the delta (1) dead until dark (1) deadly night (1) dean koontz (2) dearly departed (1) death masks (1) demon hunts (2) demon possession (1) demons (3) devil (1) diana rowland (3) dirty little secret (1) disaster (1) discount armageddon (1) discussion (1) disliking a book (1) disqus (1) DMC: Devil May Cry (1) dnf skull (1) dreamfever (1) dresden files (3) dust and decay (1) dying bites (1) dystopian fiction (5) e-book (1) e.l. james (3) eat slay love (1) edgar allan poe (1) education (1) elissa wall (1) elizabeth reuter (1) ellen potter (1) England (1) erotica (10) even white trash zombies get the blues (1) exorcism (1) f. paul wilson (1) fae (5) faefever (1) faeries (2) fahrenheit 451 (1) fairies (1) fairy tales (2) fantasy (5) feed (1) fiction (6) fiction with zombies (5) fifty shades darker (1) fifty shades freed (1) fifty shades of grey (1) fighting to survive (1) film tie-in (1) fire baptized (1) first days (1) first days: as the world dies (1) flds (1) flesh and bone (1) follow friday (36) following (1) fool moon (1) frances hardinge (1) FrankenDom (1) frostbitten (1) funny (1) furiously happy (1) gabriel's inferno (1) gabriel's rapture (1) game reboot (1) gargoyle (1) garth ennis (1) georgina kincaid (1) gerald's game (1) gfc (1) ghost hunters (1) ghost shadow (1) ghost story (2) ghost trackers (1) ghost walk (1) ghosts (1) giveaway (7) godsmack (1) google reader (1) gothic (2) government (1) grant wilson (1) graphic novel (7) grave peril (1) graveminder (1) greg mortenson (1) grim (1) guest post (3) gypsies tramps and thieves (1) halfway to the grave (1) Halloween (1) hammer of thor (1) heather blake (1) heather graham (2) heavy metal (1) henry james (1) historical fiction (2) history (3) holiday (1) horns (1) horror (20) horror/urban fantasy reading challenge (12) horror/urban fantasy reaing challenge (1) howard chaykin (1) humor (1) hush hush (2) imm (1) in my mailbox (1) in the blood (1) infected (1) internet blackout (1) irresistibly sweet blog award (1) isaac marion (1) islam (1) it takes a witch (1) jane was here (1) jason hawes (1) jaye wells (1) jeaniene frost (6) jeff hirsch (1) jeffery deaver (1) jennifer blood (1) jenny lawson (1) jesse petersen (3) jim butcher (10) jodi lynn anderson (1) joe hill (2) jonathan maberry (3) joseph spencer (2) jrr tolkien (1) juneau (1) k (1) kami garcia (2) karen marie moning (5) Katherine howe (1) kelley armstrong (1) kenya wright (1) key west (1) kim harrison (3) kitty and the dead man's hand (1) kitty and the silver bullet (1) kitty thomas (1) kresley cole (1) l. frank baum (1) laini taylor (2) late night (7) Laura André (1) Lazy Sunday (1) leaving (1) lee hunt (1) lee roland (1) lesbian (2) lia habel (1) liebster blog award (1) liesel hill (2) limerick (1) little red riding hood (1) living dead in dallas (1) lolita (1) longmire (1) lost and forgotten languages of shanghai (1) lovecraftian (1) madeline sheehan (1) mages (1) magic (1) malice (1) margaret stohl (2) marilyn mason (1) marissa meyer (1) mark of the demon (1) married with zombies (1) masque of the red death (1) matched (1) matt baglio (1) MC (1) Melissa Marr (1) mental illness (1) meteor (1) Michael Vey the Prisoner of Cell 25 (1) middle east (1) midnight blue-light special (1) mike mullin (1) mike pace (1) mira grant (1) Mockingjay (1) monstrumology (1) monthly wrap-up (2) moon called (1) motorcycle (1) movie casting (1) movie review (1) muisc (1) my book boyfriend (3) my life as a white trash zombie (1) my wishlist saturday (1) mystery (10) mythology (2) native americans (1) nazi germany (1) neil gaiman (3) new adult (1) new blog (1) new orleans (1) new year (1) night huntress series (1) nightlife (1) nightshade (1) non-fiction (4) nos4a2 (1) nyc (1) on my wishlist (1) one grave at a time (1) opinion (1) pakistan (1) pale demon (1) parallel dimensions (1) paranormal romance (11) partials (1) pass slowly (1) patricia briggs (2) percy jackson (1) persistence of vision (2) peter clines (1) peter straub (3) philippa gregory (1) plague town (1) podcast (2) podiobook (1) poison princess (1) police (1) political thriller (1) post-apocalyptic (9) post-WWI (1) promo (2) promo blitz (3) proven guilty (1) PSA (1) puppy (1) quote (1) r (1) R.A.K. (1) rachel morgan (1) random acts of kindess (1) ravenhurst (1) ray bradbury (1) ray chen smith (1) re-read (1) reading challenge (2) red-headed stepchild (1) resident evil 6 (1) retelling (3) retellings (1) review (7) rhiannon frater (3) richard paul evans. 3 skulls (1) richelle mead (3) rick riordan (1) rick yancey (3) rob thurman (1) Robin L Rotham (1) rockabilly (1) romance (2) rosamund hodge (1) rosemary and rue (1) ruiyan xu (1) rusty fiischer (1) s. evan townsend (1) s.g. browne (1) salem witch trials (1) sandman (1) sara gruen (1) sarah j maas (1) sarah kernochan (1) schools (1) sci-fi (5) scott sigler (2) seanan mcguire (4) seether (1) sexuality (1) shadowfever (1) shaman (1) silk (1) simon holt (1) sinnful 2¢ (3) slavery (1) slippage (1) smallpox (1) song (1) SOPA (1) Soulstice (1) soundtrack (1) speculative fiction (1) stacey jay (1) stacking the shelves (1) stalker (1) steampunk (2) stephanie meyer (1) stephen ayers (1) stephen king (3) Stephen King project (1) steve perry (1) stolen innocence (1) stop online piracy act (1) storm born (1) stylish blogger award (1) submission (1) succubus blues (1) succubus on top (1) summer knight (1) supernatural suspense (1) susan beth pfeffer (3) susanne winnacker (1) suspense (3) sylvian reynard (2) T (1) taking on the dead (1) tami jackson (1) TAPS (1) TBR pile (1) tears don't fall (1) teaser tuesday (39) technical difficulties (3) ted naifeh (1) the auction (1) The Bone Collector (1) the car thief (1) the cold dish (1) the dark and hollow places (2) the dead and the gone (1) the dead-tossed waves (2) the demon of renaissance drive (1) the divine comedy (1) the eleventh plague (1) the enemy (1) the forest of hands and teeth (2) the hobbit (1) The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (1) the hunger games (2) the isle of blood (1) the jazz cage (1) the kneebone boy (1) the lady of the rivers (1) the monstrumologist (1) the other life (1) the physick book of deliverance dane (1) the replacement (1) the rite: the making of a modern exorcist (1) the sandman (1) the sight (1) the taba convention (1) the taken (1) the talisman (1) the tomb (1) the vampire of new york (1) the wonderful wizard of oz (1) theme song saturday (65) Theme Thursday (15) theodore weesner (1) theories (1) this is not a test (1) this world we live in (1) three little birds (1) thriller (4) tiger lily (1) toby venables (1) tomb raider 2013 (1) tomes of the dead: viking dead (1) top ten tuesday (1) trevor shane (1) trickster god (1) truth or dare friday (2) twilight (2) undead (1) undeniable (1) update (6) updates (1) urban fantasy (54) vacation (1) valentine's day (1) vampires (10) vanyel ashkevron (1) versatile blogger award (1) vicki pettersson (1) video game review (3) vikings (2) viper moon (1) vladimir nabokov (1) volcano (1) voodoo (1) waiting on wednesday (1) war of southern independence (1) war of the roses (1) warm bodies (1) water for elephants (1) werewolf (1) werewolves (4) western (1) what maisie knew (1) whispered truth (1) white night (1) winner (2) winners (1) witch (2) wyoming (1) YA (14) YA adventure (3) YA fantasy (4) YA fiction (20) YA historical fiction (1) ya horror (3) ya issues (1) YA mystery (1) YA paranormal romance (2) ya post-apocalyptic (14) YA romance (2) ya sci-fi (1) YA series (14) YA supernatural (1) YA supernatural romance (2) YA suspense (2) YA urban fantasy (2) ya with zombies (1) yellowstone national parl (1) zombie month (12) zombie music and movies (1) zombie queen of newbury high (1) zombies (24) zombies don't cry (1)

Subscribe via Email

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Blogs I love


  • Bites
  • An Abundance of Books
  • Reading Without Restraint”=
  • I'm loving ♥ books
  • Candace's book blog
  • Bookish Brunette
  • Fiktshun button
  • Small Review
  • Bewitched Bookworms

  • Grab my Badge

    Sinnful Books
     

    Follow Me!

    Follow on Bloglovin
    Follow on Bloglovin

    Followers

    Linky Followers

    Contributors

    My Photo
    "If you’re a freak like me, Wave your flag! If you’re a freak like me, Get off your ass! It’s our time now, To let it all hang out!" I am a recovering English major, closet bibliophile, breve addicted, zombie lover with a rockabilly and heavy metal fetish.